The Big Lie: You can be whatever you want to be

“You can be whatever you want to be” say well meaning people everywhere.

“BS!” says me.

Parents tell us this, teachers tell us this, society tells us this, optimists tell us this.  All in hopes that we will push ourselves to work hard for what we want, be pioneers, and break glass ceilings. All of those things are very good things.  Ingraining this in our brains will help us grow up either with ambition or entitlement.  Either way it will slowly dawn on us that this is a lie. Sometimes  work and determination just can’t get us there. Continue reading

Productivity Hacks: One size does not fit all.

Productivity Hacks: One Size Does Not Fit All

 

There is loads of advice out there on productivity.

Does it work?  YES!

Every time? For everyone?  NO!

Everyone wants to make the best use of their time.  No one wants to spend their time on things that don’t really matter.  That is why we go looking for solutions but even a solution that works for many people may not work for us. And it may even work for us for a time but not forever.  Why is that? Continue reading

How to spot romance that isn't dressed like romance

How to Spot Romance That Doesn’t Dress Like Romance

Everyone can spot a huge romantic gesture. It has bells, whistles, applause. It is almost like a theatre show. It looks like a tux or a party dress.

Not everyone sees the small, even tiny, romantic acts and expressions that can total up to be far more important than those big gestures. It presents itself looking more like work boots and a bad hair day. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to notice these things.  Continue reading

How to Make a Difference From Where You Are Right Now

 

Most people want to help.  It’s almost universal.  Millenials want to “make an impact”.  Gen Xers want  to “make a difference”.  Baby Boomers and the Greatest Generation want to “be of value”.

Sure, there are those out there who only care about themselves and their own needs and their own feelings.  I don’t have any statistics on this but from my own observations I would guess that this is a tiny percentage.  Most people love someone besides themselves. So let’s leave the diehard self-centered out of the equation and look at the remainder.

Many people want to help but might not know how.  Or they refrain because they may think that their contributions are insignificant.  They may feel that they need to have more or be more before they can make an impact. They may see a problem in the world at large and don’t know how they can possibly help make it better.

I am a proponent of “bloom where you are planted”. Continue reading

Two Universal Life Rules I Learned From Being a Girl Scout

Yes, I really was a Girl Scout.  I started as a Brownie and finished as a Senior.  I learned many things during that time- how to build a fire, how to identify edible foods in ‘the wild’ (meaning not in a grocery store), macramé, the art of crafting the perfect s’more and every word of “Little Bunny Foo Foo”.  I also learned that as much as I loved those cookies I was never going to desire a sales career.

There were two things the Girl Scouts drilled in to our heads from the beginning that not only have served me well but are universally true in every conceivable situation.  As of yet, I have not found a single situation where they do not apply.

Continue reading