What is success?
I did a very scientific poll (facebook, twitter, email, phone calls) and asked people for their definition of success. Most of the answers were different phrasings on one of my favorite quotes and what I use to define success:
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. “- Maya Angelou
Being generous is the natural side effect of living a happy and fulfilled life. It is also the antidote for when we feel lost or blue. It can take our focus off ourselves and make us pay attention to the world around us. It serves both us and the receivers of our generosity. It is empowering.
Many times people equate giving with cash. If you have the means, then go ahead and share but what if you don’t? While monetary philanthropy is important, it is a narrow way to be generous. There are many other ways to share with others.
Have you ever seen that couple who is still bickering and fighting over the same issues year after year? They swear they love each other but you keep wondering how they even like each other. Why haven’t they moved on to bigger, better, and more peaceful things? Chances are they each are making demands but no one is really negotiating a better way.
The word negotiate is probably the least romantic word in the dictionary. It doesn’t usually pop up in conversation when you are talking infatuation and love in your life. Surprisingly, it is the best way to navigate this sort of relationship. Everyone does it to some extent or another. The better you are at it, the better your relationship becomes. Negotiation is just a means of achieving a solution that leaves each party getting the most out of a situation.
I am a big believer and practitioner of grown up time-outs. I feel that they can make you a better person.
Grown up timeouts have a different goal than the ones children have.
In kids, it is used for behavior modification. A child has broken the rules, they are taken out of their situation so they can calm down and reflect and, hopefully, realize the consequences of their actions. Adults also need to calm down and reflect but their ultimate goal is to prevent bad reactions or behavior. Or basically, modify our behavior before it occurs. Continue reading
Have you ever wanted to break your bad habits or create new ones?
It’s usually easier said than done.
Jerry Seinfeld has been credited in popularizing the technique of habit tracking. He has been reported giving the advice that this is the technique he used when he was an up and comer. He simply put a red X on his calendar every day that he did some writing so that he formed a chain. He didn’t want to break the chain so he continued and then it was a habit.