Category Archives: Encouragement

Five Things You Can Do When Change Snowballs

Five Things You Can Do When Change Snowballs

 

Have you ever decided to clean out a closet or a room and you start and all of a sudden it looks way worse than the mess you were trying to remedy?

It happens to me all the time.  Sometimes knowing this makes me even reluctant to start.  Once I do start it can even be a bit daunting.

Then I realized that this happens when I make changes, too. Continue reading

The Art of Noticing

Have you ever thought long and hard about Happiness, and Joy, and Contentment?  How to orchestrate more of it in your life?  How to create that big ***BANG*** of Jubilation right over your head?

There is information everywhere…Books, blogs, vlogs, pod casts, talk shows…on how to attempt this.  It was in a quiet conversation with a friend that I realized it didn’t come to me in that big way.  It came to me in little tiny bits. Sometimes so tiny they might go unnoticed if I wasn’t paying attention. Rarely do I get it from a grand event with lightning strikes or trumpets or fireworks. I am not the only one.  Have you ever observed that people who are happy in general delight in small and modest things? Continue reading

Celebrate Other’s Success and Defeat the Green Monster

Have you ever achieved something you worked incredibly hard for or had an incredible opportunity put in your path and you get all excited and you look around and no one else is getting excited with you?  Or worse yet the haters show up…or lurk behind your back? I think this happens to most people at least every once in a while.

It’s very deflating. It is important to cheer ourselves on (link) and try to find a better support system.  But it is a great opportunity to look at our own reactions.  How do WE react to someone else’s good fortune? Continue reading

Can Self-Acceptance Be an Excuse?

I am very happy to see more people talking about acceptance, of themselves and each other…  More people talking about being their authentic selves….  More people discussing the concept of not judging a book by its cover.  I think it is a wonderful thing to embrace our differences and to not force people into one little tiny mold.

However, I also believe there is sometimes a dangerous side effect to all that.  It offers up easy excuses. Continue reading

How to Fight Frustration (by celebrating small victories)

There is a lot of work that goes in to reaching a goal or accomplishing something.  Very rarely do things go according to plan A or hit success on the exact date we schedule (or maybe that’s just me).  Sometimes we have to use an extraordinary amount of discipline and delayed gratification in order to get what we envision for ourselves.  This can lead to a boat load of frustration. Continue reading

Is a Successful Marriage Really Hard Work?

I don’t think so.

Whenever I hear a discussion on marriage everyone talks about the hard work it takes to make it successful.  I contend that it is not hard; it is merely inconvenient.

[Disclaimer #1:  When I say that marriage is not hard I am not including those marriages that include abuse, addiction, or fraud.  Those are very hard and I don’t want to minimize that.  I am talking about the average Joe and Sally (in as much as there can be such thing). Disclaimer #2: I am also assuming both parties desire a successful marriage and are participating as such.] Continue reading

Why Knowing What You Don’t Want is Important

“What do you want to do?” is a ubiquitous question.  How about asking, “What don’t you want?”

At almost every stage of life you will hear a familiar lament from someone you know, “I am not sure what I want”. This starts very early when bored children are trying to find something to do.  They have no idea what they want but when mom and dad start making suggestions they can easily identify what they don’t want to do.  This continues throughout our lives, the subject matter just changes.

But we can use it to our advantage. Continue reading

How to Throw a Proper Pity Party

We all need a pity party once in awhile.

Plans don’t come to fruition. People hurt you. Murphy (the famous one, from Murphy’s Law) shows up at your house and doesn’t leave. Loved ones are sick. You got screwed over at your job. The list could go on and on.  Shit happens.  What is the best way to deal with it?

It is ok to be angry or sad or disappointed or whatever it is you are feeling.  Popular psychology states that validation is important.  You can validate your feelings with a pity party.  Let’s take a look at it as if it were any other party and you are the party planner. Continue reading