Instant gratification is sexier than delayed gratification. It’s decadent, indulgent, and it’s dopamine releasing. That means we get a rush (cue James Brown). Sadly, instant gratification can be a smoke screen and hurdle keeping us from the things we want the most.
Delayed gratification is by far the most reliable road to success. Yet we have become accustomed to fast and easy. We all want the most with the least amount of effort and delayed gratification is none of that.
Let’s face it. Delayed gratification often feels like a sacrifice. Seriously, who doesn’t want to eat that ice cream, buy that bauble, sleep in later, avoid the hard work? Who wants to deny themselves? Who doesn’t want what they want when they want it?
Everyone can spot a huge romantic gesture. It has bells, whistles, applause. It is almost like a theatre show. It looks like a tux or a party dress.
Not everyone sees the small, even tiny, romantic acts and expressions that can total up to be far more important than those big gestures. It presents itself looking more like work boots and a bad hair day. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to notice these things.Continue reading →
Everyone likes to be acknowledged. Everyone likes to be appreciated.
In the season of giving we have many opportunities to say thank you, not just for gifts but for generous gestures as well. We need to make sure that we thank people like we really mean it. We may not be good at it but that is when we need to require a little more from ourselves . We can learn, we can get better, we can practice. Practice makes perfect, right?
We’ve all heard it before, especially at this time of the year. When it comes to gifts, it’s the thought that counts. But is that true?
We’ve all gotten that gift at some point where we open it and think “What the…?”
It’s the thought that counts if there is indeed thought- a good intention- behind it and if we have the ability to recognize the thought. It comes from both sides. Are we honestly putting thought into our gift giving? Are we accepting gifts with the intention in mind?Continue reading →
We are compelled to feed the hungry and help the needy. Rightly so. To those of us who have been blessed it is only right to pass it on. There will be extraordinary acts of kindness and giving reported everywhere. We may even be a recipient of a free coffee in the drive through line by someone who generously started a random act of kindness.
It is fabulous to witness it all when we live in a world where there is so much ugliness brought to life on a regular basis.
However, the holidays can be stressful for even the most die hard festive reveler. Unfortunately most of us unleash the side effects of this stress on the ones we love the most. Continue reading →
While it is not part of my culture, I find myself wishing that it was.
If you are unfamiliar with it, Day of the Dead is celebrated in many Hispanic cultures to honor the ancestors who have gone before them. In Mexican culture there are beautiful colorful graphics with ‘sugar skulls’. The dead are celebrated with flowers, their favorite foods (sometimes even picnicking in the cemeteries), and reminiscing. Many outside of the Hispanic culture sometimes find it a little morose or macabre but it is the exact opposite. It is the celebration of the lives of those that were loved while they were here.Continue reading →
Whenever I hear a discussion on marriage everyone talks about the hard work it takes to make it successful. I contend that it is not hard; it is merely inconvenient.
[Disclaimer #1: When I say that marriage is not hard I am not including those marriages that include abuse, addiction, or fraud. Those are very hard and I don’t want to minimize that. I am talking about the average Joe and Sally (in as much as there can be such thing). Disclaimer #2: I am also assuming both parties desire a successful marriage and are participating as such.]Continue reading →