Instant gratification is sexier than delayed gratification. It’s decadent, indulgent, and it’s dopamine releasing. That means we get a rush (cue James Brown). Sadly, instant gratification can be a smoke screen and hurdle keeping us from the things we want the most.
Delayed gratification is by far the most reliable road to success. Yet we have become accustomed to fast and easy. We all want the most with the least amount of effort and delayed gratification is none of that.
Let’s face it. Delayed gratification often feels like a sacrifice. Seriously, who doesn’t want to eat that ice cream, buy that bauble, sleep in later, avoid the hard work? Who wants to deny themselves? Who doesn’t want what they want when they want it?
“You can be whatever you want to be” say well meaning people everywhere.
“BS!” says me.
Parents tell us this, teachers tell us this, society tells us this, optimists tell us this. All in hopes that we will push ourselves to work hard for what we want, be pioneers, and break glass ceilings. All of those things are very good things. Ingraining this in our brains will help us grow up either with ambition or entitlement. Either way it will slowly dawn on us that this is a lie. Sometimes work and determination just can’t get us there.Continue reading →
There is loads of advice out there on productivity.
Does it work? YES!
Every time? For everyone? NO!
Everyone wants to make the best use of their time. No one wants to spend their time on things that don’t really matter. That is why we go looking for solutions but even a solution that works for many people may not work for us. And it may even work for us for a time but not forever. Why is that?Continue reading →
Most people want to help. It’s almost universal. Millenials want to “make an impact”. Gen Xers want to “make a difference”. Baby Boomers and the Greatest Generation want to “be of value”.
Sure, there are those out there who only care about themselves and their own needs and their own feelings. I don’t have any statistics on this but from my own observations I would guess that this is a tiny percentage. Most people love someone besides themselves. So let’s leave the diehard self-centered out of the equation and look at the remainder.
Many people want to help but might not know how. Or they refrain because they may think that their contributions are insignificant. They may feel that they need to have more or be more before they can make an impact. They may see a problem in the world at large and don’t know how they can possibly help make it better.
Have you ever thought long and hard about Happiness, and Joy, and Contentment? How to orchestrate more of it in your life? How to create that big ***BANG*** of Jubilation right over your head?
There is information everywhere…Books, blogs, vlogs, pod casts, talk shows…on how to attempt this. It was in a quiet conversation with a friend that I realized it didn’t come to me in that big way. It came to me in little tiny bits. Sometimes so tiny they might go unnoticed if I wasn’t paying attention. Rarely do I get it from a grand event with lightning strikes or trumpets or fireworks. I am not the only one. Have you ever observed that people who are happy in general delight in small and modest things?Continue reading →