I love a story with a soul searching quest. A great example of this is Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am a fan of both the book and the author. For a similar story with a male perspective, there is Honeymoon With My Brother by Franz Wisner. Both books were on the New York Times best seller list. Apparently, I am not the only one who enjoys these types of stories.
If you’ve never read the books they are similar in the fact that something goes horribly awry in their life, and they leave on an extensive trip to go find themselves and discover life truths. So many interesting details to mull over. I read and reflect and then part of me gets pissed off!
Instant gratification is sexier than delayed gratification. It’s decadent, indulgent, and it’s dopamine releasing. That means we get a rush (cue James Brown). Sadly, instant gratification can be a smoke screen and hurdle keeping us from the things we want the most.
Delayed gratification is by far the most reliable road to success. Yet we have become accustomed to fast and easy. We all want the most with the least amount of effort and delayed gratification is none of that.
Let’s face it. Delayed gratification often feels like a sacrifice. Seriously, who doesn’t want to eat that ice cream, buy that bauble, sleep in later, avoid the hard work? Who wants to deny themselves? Who doesn’t want what they want when they want it?
Success in any area of life does not come from being on auto pilot.
This holds true for relationships, business, mental health, physical health, spiritual well-being, etc.
Life is always in flux and we need to keep up with it. Every time our circumstances change and we do not we are setting ourselves up for failure. That sounds like catastrophic language but it is true. There is a simple antidote though and that is to continue learning. The more we know the more tools we have to craft the life we want. Continue reading →
Sometimes we feel we need to make a change. How can you tell if you just need to color your hair, try something new, or make a drastic change?
No one can really answer that question but you. Sometimes a small change can garner large results. However, if there is even a remote possibility that you could/should/want/have to make a huge transformation then you should make sure you explore it thoroughly. Continue reading →
“You can be whatever you want to be” say well meaning people everywhere.
“BS!” says me.
Parents tell us this, teachers tell us this, society tells us this, optimists tell us this. All in hopes that we will push ourselves to work hard for what we want, be pioneers, and break glass ceilings. All of those things are very good things. Ingraining this in our brains will help us grow up either with ambition or entitlement. Either way it will slowly dawn on us that this is a lie. Sometimes work and determination just can’t get us there.Continue reading →
There is loads of advice out there on productivity.
Does it work? YES!
Every time? For everyone? NO!
Everyone wants to make the best use of their time. No one wants to spend their time on things that don’t really matter. That is why we go looking for solutions but even a solution that works for many people may not work for us. And it may even work for us for a time but not forever. Why is that?Continue reading →
Everyone can spot a huge romantic gesture. It has bells, whistles, applause. It is almost like a theatre show. It looks like a tux or a party dress.
Not everyone sees the small, even tiny, romantic acts and expressions that can total up to be far more important than those big gestures. It presents itself looking more like work boots and a bad hair day. Sometimes we have to train ourselves to notice these things.Continue reading →
Most people want to help. It’s almost universal. Millenials want to “make an impact”. Gen Xers want to “make a difference”. Baby Boomers and the Greatest Generation want to “be of value”.
Sure, there are those out there who only care about themselves and their own needs and their own feelings. I don’t have any statistics on this but from my own observations I would guess that this is a tiny percentage. Most people love someone besides themselves. So let’s leave the diehard self-centered out of the equation and look at the remainder.
Many people want to help but might not know how. Or they refrain because they may think that their contributions are insignificant. They may feel that they need to have more or be more before they can make an impact. They may see a problem in the world at large and don’t know how they can possibly help make it better.