Have you ever seen that couple who is still bickering and fighting over the same issues year after year? They swear they love each other but you keep wondering how they even like each other. Why haven’t they moved on to bigger, better, and more peaceful things? Chances are they each are making demands but no one is really negotiating a better way.
The word negotiate is probably the least romantic word in the dictionary. It doesn’t usually pop up in conversation when you are talking infatuation and love in your life. Surprisingly, it is the best way to navigate this sort of relationship. Everyone does it to some extent or another. The better you are at it, the better your relationship becomes. Negotiation is just a means of achieving a solution that leaves each party getting the most out of a situation.
I am a big believer and practitioner of grown up time-outs. I feel that they can make you a better person.
Grown up timeouts have a different goal than the ones children have.
In kids, it is used for behavior modification. A child has broken the rules, they are taken out of their situation so they can calm down and reflect and, hopefully, realize the consequences of their actions. Adults also need to calm down and reflect but their ultimate goal is to prevent bad reactions or behavior. Or basically, modify our behavior before it occurs.Continue reading →
Have you ever achieved something you worked incredibly hard for or had an incredible opportunity put in your path and you get all excited and you look around and no one else is getting excited with you? Or worse yet the haters show up…or lurk behind your back? I think this happens to most people at least every once in a while.
It’s very deflating. It is important to cheer ourselves on (link) and try to find a better support system. But it is a great opportunity to look at our own reactions. How do WE react to someone else’s good fortune?Continue reading →